I enjoy clubbing. There I said it. It’s a fun thing to do however what I don’t understand is why I enjoy it. If you have never been to a club before then count yourself lucky although I will try to convey what it is like.
Imagine you are in a sauna with a thousand drunk strangers and the volume control of the music is stuck at a ridiculously high level. Then everyone tries to jump around at different times. That is briefly what clubbing entails. Of course then you get the drunken creepy men who come up behind you and rub their crotch rather aggressively on you in some kind of strange mating routine that not even David Attenborough would recognise as typical mating behaviour.
After such stress you would really like an alcoholic drink. After standing in the Que. to the bar for anything up to three days you are able to order. However, the price makes you question whether you are being robbed in an incredibly polite manner.
Then of course there is the social awkwardness of “dancing”. I place dancing in inverted commas because it appears more to be the well practiced art of how to have sex with as many clothes on as possible. I would say that 37% of people on the dance floor have been penetrated in some shape or form.
Well I am going clubbing again tonight. I have no idea why.